My life with psoriasis has been, well, my life. I was diagnosed with psoriasis at two years old and was hospitalized for it shortly after. Growing up, talk about “flare-ups” and “remissions” never had much meaning to me. My psoriasis had two stages--bad and much worse. I went through it all: years of UV light treatments, smelly topical steroids that stung when applied, and mineral oil baths. I slept in mittens to avoid scratching and in wet pajamas with rubber ones on top.

My parents never treated my psoriasis like a big deal. I did not get any special treatment, and my pity parties were stopped before I could even RSVP. Instead of making me a wallflower, my psoriasis made me tough. At school I was the bossy little girl who wouldn’t let anyone pick on her. When I started ninth grade, my parents decided to send me to a private school that none of my friends attended. Academically it was a great choice, but socially it was rough at first. Being in a new environment at the most awkward time of any girl’s life, I was more aware of my psoriasis then ever. My psoriasis began to dictate my actions in so many different situations. My once strong persona seemed to shrink away. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my disease.

Midway through my sophomore year of high school I had made some really wonderful friends, but I can remember dreading the “psoriasis talk.” With adrenaline pumping I finally confided in them, and their responses shocked me. “Oh really, I was wondering what that was,” they said. That was it. No big deal. Eventually, I learned to speak more openly about my skin. Once my condition was out in the open, I no longer had to worry about the unknown.

In college I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and Crohn’s disease and started taking biologics. At one point I remember looking at my skin and thinking, “I have elbows! I have knees!” As a child I had often wondered what my joints would look like psoriasis-free. Now, I am 100% clear for the first time in my entire life. It was only after my skin cleared that I realized what a huge role psoriasis has played in making me the person I am today. I developed habits that persist even now, like standing with my arms behind my back, and grabbing pants instead of a skirt in hot weather. More importantly, though, psoriasis has helped me to really appreciate life. I realize that it is a waste of energy to focus on the negative things about myself, and that self-worth needs to be a decision that comes from within. I know not to put much stock into physical appearances because they can change. I don’t know what the future holds, but if one day I look and see those familiar plaques, I know I will be able to smile. In a way, psoriasis is like an old rival—it would be fine if I never saw it again, but if we do cross paths the encounter will only make me stronger.

###

Write to Congress about psoriasis research. And check out our 2008 Psoriasis Cure Now Video Contest.